You don’t have to lower your standards to know what you deserve in a relationship. But sometimes, it can be hard to tell if your standards are too low. You might find yourself accepting things that don’t make you happy or settling for behavior that you shouldn’t. Here are some signs that your standards may be too low in a relationship:
1. You Settle for Bad Treatment
One of the clearest signs that your standards are too low is when you accept poor treatment from your partner. If they constantly disrespect you, ignore your needs, or make you feel unimportant, but you stay in the relationship because “things will get better,” that’s a red flag. You deserve respect and kindness in a relationship, not just the bare minimum.
2. You Ignore Red Flags
If you notice warning signs that your partner might not be good for you, but you ignore them because you’re afraid of being alone or because you think they’ll change, your standards might be too low. Red flags—like dishonesty, manipulation, or lack of communication—shouldn’t be overlooked. Pay attention to how your partner treats you, not just their words.
3. You Sacrifice Your Own Happiness
When you put your partner’s needs, desires, or feelings above your own all the time, you might be lowering your standards. A healthy relationship is balanced, where both people care about each other’s happiness. If you find yourself constantly unhappy or sacrificing your own well-being, you might be accepting too little from the relationship.
4. You Feel Like You’re Always ‘Trying’ to Make It Work
A relationship should feel like a partnership. If you feel like you’re always the one trying to make things work, while your partner isn’t putting in any effort, that could mean your standards are too low. A good relationship should have mutual effort from both sides.
5. You Accept Inconsistent Behavior
If your partner is hot and cold with you—sometimes affectionate, other times distant, or if they only give you attention when it’s convenient for them—it can be a sign that you’ve lowered your expectations. A healthy relationship should have consistency and trust. You deserve a partner who values you all the time, not just when they feel like it.
6. You Don’t Communicate Your Needs
If you’re constantly avoiding tough conversations or not speaking up about your needs and wants, you might be lowering your standards without realizing it. Being afraid to communicate shows that you’re not expecting enough from your partner. A strong relationship is built on open communication where both people feel heard and understood.
7. You Feel Unworthy of Love
Sometimes, people lower their standards because they don’t think they deserve better. If you feel like you’re lucky to be in the relationship, even though you’re not being treated well, it could mean that you don’t believe in your own worth. Remember, everyone deserves to be in a healthy, loving relationship where they are treated with respect and kindness.
How to Raise Your Standards
- Know What You Want: Take some time to think about what you really want in a relationship. What kind of treatment do you expect? What are your non-negotiables? Being clear about these things will help you set healthy standards.
- Believe in Yourself: Understand that you deserve love, respect, and happiness. Don’t settle for less because you think you can’t do better. You are worthy of a healthy relationship.
- Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away: If someone isn’t meeting your standards or treating you the way you deserve, don’t be afraid to let go. It might feel hard at first, but staying in a bad relationship is much worse in the long run.
- Surround Yourself with Support: Talk to friends and family about your relationship. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you see things more clearly and know if you’re lowering your standards.
Conclusion
Understanding your standards in a relationship is important for your happiness. If you find yourself accepting less than you deserve or feeling unappreciated, it might be time to raise your expectations. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they are respected.