Setting A Higher Standard To Improve Your Confidence

Have you ever been on a date where the best part was the free bread, but you still considered a second date? We’ve all been there! But should a good bread basket be the highlight of a romantic date? This leads us to today’s buzzword: higher standards.

Higher standards don’t mean you’re looking for a partner who bakes fancy bread from scratch (although that would be nice). It’s about expecting more from your relationships and, in turn, from yourself.

Setting higher standards is not just about avoiding future bread disasters. It’s a plan for the kind of love and respect you believe you deserve, which, by the way, should be a lot!

By setting high standards for love, you create a foundation for a relationship where both people are truly invested, not just going with the flow.

Why Higher Standards Are Important:

1. Aids in Personal Growth: When you’re with someone who appreciates your interests and supports your dreams, personal growth becomes natural. Think about a past relationship where your partner didn’t appreciate your hobbies; it didn’t just stifle your creativity, but it held you back. Higher standards can lead you to a partner who not only appreciates your passions but encourages them.
2. Reduces Settling for Less: It’s easy to stick with what’s comfortable, even if it’s not fulfilling. You end up in relationships that are “good enough” but not great. Higher standards push you toward relationships that offer more than just comfort; they lead you to partners who challenge and enrich your life.
3. Fulfills Psychological Needs: Relationships should be partnerships, not one-sided. Higher standards guide you toward relationships where both you and your partner contribute, grow, and relate to each other meaningfully.
4. Promotes Mutual Respect and Equality: Respect is crucial in any healthy relationship. Having higher standards means you won’t tolerate disrespect or inequality. You’ll seek out someone who listens to you and values your opinions.
5. Improves Overall Life Satisfaction: When your relationship meets or exceeds your standards, life feels more enjoyable. It positively affects your job, friendships, and overall well-being.
6. Enhances Emotional Security: Higher standards can lead you to a partner who offers emotional stability, rather than constant emotional turmoil. This creates a more peaceful and secure relationship.

The Myths About Higher Standards:

1. “You’re Too Picky”: If being picky means you want a partner who respects you and shares your values, then it’s a good thing. Higher standards are about knowing your worth and not compromising on what’s important to you.
2. “You’ll End Up Alone”: Lowering your standards to avoid loneliness can lead to even more isolation in a bad relationship. Don’t settle for fear of being alone; aim for a fulfilling relationship.
3. “You’re Unrealistic”: Having higher standards doesn’t mean seeking perfection. It means looking for someone who enriches your life, not settling for subpar.
4. “You Think You’re Too Good for Anyone”: It’s about recognizing you deserve a partner committed to a healthy relationship, not thinking you’re superior.
5. “It’s Just a Phase”: High standards in relationships aren’t a passing phase; they should evolve with you as you mature.

Signs You Need to Raise Your Standards:

1. You’re Not Excited About Your Partner or Dates: If you feel indifferent about your partner or dates, it might be time to reassess your standards.
2. Your Needs Are Frequently Ignored: In any relationship, you should feel heard and respected. If your needs are consistently ignored, it’s time to reconsider your standards.
3. You Make Excuses for Them: Making excuses for someone’s behavior is a red flag. If you spend more time justifying their actions than enjoying the relationship, your standards may need an upgrade.
4. You’re Always Apologizing: If you find yourself constantly apologizing, it’s a sign that your standards may need adjustment.
5. You Keep Hoping They’ll Change: Hoping for change in a partner is a sign that your standards may be too low.
6. Your Friends and Family Are Concerned: If loved ones are expressing concern about your relationship or the people you’re dating, consider reevaluating your standards.
7. You’re Always Making Efforts: Relationships should involve mutual effort. If you’re always the one making adjustments and your partner isn’t, your standards may need raising.
8. You Feel Left Behind: If you often feel like your partners leave you feeling inadequate, it’s a sign to reassess your standards.

How to Set Higher Standards in Relationships and Dating:

1. Self-Awareness and Self-Reflection: Analyze your past relationships, look for patterns, and be honest with yourself about what you want.
2. Clearly Define Your Non-Negotiables: Identify deal-breakers like honesty and mutual respect.
3. Open Communication: Speak openly about your boundaries and expectations.
4. Emotional Independence: Build emotional stability within yourself, rather than relying on others for validation.
5. Be Ready to Walk Away: Don’t lower your standards to keep someone around; be willing to walk away if they don’t meet your criteria.
6. Consult Trusted Friends and Advisors: Get a second opinion from loved ones.
7. Invest in Your Own Growth: Pursue hobbies, career goals, and self-improvement to make yourself more attractive to potential partners.
8. Know Your Love Languages: Understand your own and your partner’s love languages for more fulfilling relationships.
9. Be Financially Self-Sufficient: Financial independence allows you to focus on personal compatibility rather than dependency.
10. Monitor Your Relationship Expectations: Keep your expectations realistic and aligned with your standards.
11. Take Time Off to Reflect: Sometimes, a break can help you reassess your standards and come back stronger.

The Downsides of Unrealistically High Standards:

1. Missing Potential Matches: Overly rigid standards can cause you to miss out on great partners who don’t meet every criterion.
2. Narcissistic Inclination: Insisting on perfection can lead to narcissistic tendencies.
3. Balance Realism and High Standards: Finding the right balance is key.
4. Fear of Commitment: Seeking “The One” can be an excuse to avoid commitment.
5. Paralysis by Analysis: Too many criteria can make decision-making difficult.
6. Social Isolation: Unrealistically high standards can extend to your social life, making you more isolated.
7. Cognitive Load: Constantly evaluating potential partners can be mentally draining.

In conclusion, having high standards in relationships isn’t about seeking perfection but about finding someone who enriches your life and respects you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve; know your worth and accept nothing less. Raise the bar, not just your hopes!

For more content see https://findwhosabiblog.com/ and follow @findwhosabi_ on Instagram