As parents, we often say things to our children without realizing the impact our words might have. While our intentions may be good, certain phrases can hurt their feelings or damage their trust in us. If you want your kids to respect you and build a strong relationship with them, here are some things you should stop saying.
1. “Because I said so!”
This phrase shuts down communication and doesn’t explain why a rule or decision is important. Instead, try explaining your reasoning in simple terms. For example, if you want your child to go to bed early, you can say, “You need enough sleep to feel good and do well in school.”
2. “Stop crying!”
Telling kids to stop crying can make them feel like their emotions aren’t valid. Instead, acknowledge their feelings by saying, “I see you’re upset. Do you want to talk about it?” This helps them feel understood and teaches them emotional expression.
3. “You never listen!”
Using “never” or “always” when talking about behavior can make kids feel criticized and hopeless. Instead, focus on what you want them to do: “Can you please pay attention? This is important.”
4. “Why can’t you be more like [someone else]?”
Comparing your child to others can hurt their self-esteem and make them feel unworthy. Celebrate their unique qualities and encourage them to be the best version of themselves.
5. “You’re so lazy!”
Labeling your child with negative traits can make them internalize those labels. Instead of calling them lazy, encourage them to take action: “How can we make this task easier to get started?”
6. “You’ll never understand.”
This phrase can make kids feel excluded or less capable. Instead, take the time to explain things in a way they can understand, even if it requires patience.
7. “I’m disappointed in you.”
While it’s okay to express disappointment in certain behaviors, avoid making your child feel like a failure. Focus on the action, not the person: “I’m disappointed you didn’t tell the truth, but we can work on being honest.”
8. “You’re fine, stop overreacting.”
Dismissing your child’s concerns can make them feel unheard. Instead, show empathy: “I understand this is hard for you. Let’s figure it out together.”
9. “Do as I say, not as I do.”
Kids learn more from actions than words. If you want them to respect you, set a good example. Practice the behavior you expect from them.
10. “I’ll love you if…”
Love should never feel conditional. Even if you don’t say this outright, implying it through your actions or words can make your child feel they have to earn your love. Instead, remind them that your love is unconditional: “I love you no matter what, but we need to work on this behavior.”
Final Thoughts
Respect is a two-way street. If you want your kids to respect you, it’s important to treat them with kindness, understanding, and patience. The words you choose can shape their confidence and strengthen your bond with them. By avoiding these harmful phrases and focusing on open, supportive communication, you can build a healthier relationship with your children.