Sitting in a cozy coffee shop, my newly married friend confided in me, “My time with the Lord has suffered ever since I got married.” Her words struck a chord, echoing my own experience during the first year of marriage. We commiserated, prayed, and parted ways, both grappling with a common struggle: feeling distant from Jesus in the midst of marital bliss.
As a single person, my spiritual routines thrived. Bible reading and prayer flowed effortlessly, fueled by solitude and a flexible schedule. Yet, upon entering marriage, the rhythm shifted. The allure of spending time with my spouse overshadowed my devotion to Christ. I found myself slipping away from daily devotions, alarmed by the decline in my quiet time.
Reflecting on this shift, I realized that marriage had inadvertently become a means to an end—a fulfillment of a long-awaited desire. Raised in a Christian culture that often idolizes marriage, I had subconsciously equated finding a spouse with attaining ultimate happiness. Consequently, my relationship with Jesus became a stepping stone toward this perceived happily ever after. When marriage became a reality, my focus shifted from Christ to my husband, and my spiritual practices suffered as a result.
However, the reality of marriage soon shattered my idealized expectations. Spouses, like myself and my friend, are flawed individuals navigating the complexities of human relationships. When we place undue pressure on our partners to fulfill our deepest needs, disillusionment inevitably follows. The honeymoon phase fades, revealing the inadequacy of relying solely on our spouses for satisfaction.
In the midst of this realization, my husband and I confronted our own shortcomings and sinful tendencies. I recognized the futility of expecting my husband to fulfill the role of a spiritual leader, and the strain it placed on our relationship. It was a humbling moment of reckoning, prompting me to release my unrealistic expectations and recommit to my relationship with Christ.
Marriage, I learned, is not a substitute for spiritual fulfillment; it is a journey of mutual growth and sacrifice. By returning to our first love—Jesus—we found the strength and grace to navigate the challenges of married life. Our marriage blossomed as we sought to align our hearts with His, recognizing that true fulfillment comes from Him alone.
Ultimately, the key to a thriving marriage lies in prioritizing Christ above all else. When both spouses fix their gaze on Him, the bond of marriage is enriched, and love flourishes amidst life’s trials and joys. Whether single or married, the pursuit of Christ remains paramount, guiding us toward deeper intimacy with Him and with each other.