Having friends is great, but sometimes, a person who seems like a friend may not be as nice as they appear. It can be confusing because they might act friendly at first, but over time, their behavior can hurt you. Here are some simple ways to figure out if someone who seems nice isn’t really treating you well.
Signs a Friend Might Not Be Nice to You
- They Put You Down: A true friend lifts you up and makes you feel good about yourself. If your friend is always making jokes at your expense, teasing you in a hurtful way, or pointing out your flaws, this is a red flag. Even if they say they’re “just joking,” it’s not okay if it makes you feel bad.
- They Only Talk About Themselves: Friendships are about sharing, both good times and bad. If your friend only talks about their own life and never asks about yours or doesn’t seem to care when you share your feelings, they might not be as nice as they seem. A good friend listens and cares about your experiences too.
- They Are Unreliable: Does your friend cancel plans at the last minute or forgets to show up when you need them? It’s normal to be busy sometimes, but if your friend repeatedly lets you down, they might not value the friendship as much as they should.
- They Make You Feel Guilty: If your friend makes you feel guilty for spending time with other people or for not doing what they want, that’s not a good sign. A healthy friendship should give you space to be yourself without making you feel like you owe them something.
- They Don’t Celebrate Your Success: A real friend is happy when good things happen to you. If your friend seems jealous or dismissive when you achieve something, they might not be as supportive as they should be. They may even downplay your successes or make it about themselves.
- They Talk About You Behind Your Back: One of the biggest signs that a friend is not nice is if you find out they’ve been saying bad things about you behind your back. True friends won’t spread rumors or talk about you in a negative way when you’re not around.
- They Manipulate You: Some friends might try to control you in subtle ways, like making you feel guilty if you don’t do what they want or using your secrets against you. If they try to control your decisions or make you feel bad for standing up for yourself, that’s not a true friend.
- You Feel Drained After Being Around Them: Sometimes, it’s not about what the friend says or does, but how you feel after spending time with them. If you always feel tired, stressed, or unhappy after hanging out with this person, they might be draining your energy in an unhealthy way.
What to Do If You Think Your Friend Isn’t Nice
- Trust Your Feelings: If something feels off in the friendship, trust your gut. Don’t ignore it just because the person seems nice on the outside.
- Talk to Them: Sometimes, people don’t realize they’re being hurtful. If you feel comfortable, talk to your friend about how their actions make you feel. A real friend will listen and try to change.
- Set Boundaries: If your friend continues to treat you poorly, it’s important to set boundaries. Let them know what behavior is not okay with you and stick to those limits.
- Distance Yourself: If things don’t improve, it might be best to distance yourself from that person. It’s okay to step away from friendships that are hurting you, even if the person seemed nice at first.
- Surround Yourself with Supportive Friends: Focus on spending time with people who make you feel good, who listen to you, and who genuinely care about you. These are the kinds of friends who will help you grow and be happy.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that not everyone who seems nice is a true friend. Pay attention to how your friend treats you and how they make you feel. A good friend supports you, respects you, and makes you feel valued. If your friend isn’t doing these things, it might be time to rethink the relationship. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you—that’s what real friendship is all about.