How you can reducing stonewalling
- Be mindful of your body. Check to see if your muscles are tensing up or if your heart rate is starting to increase.
- Discover a diplomatic way out of the predicament. Tell your partner that while the discussion is crucial, you need a brief rest in order to answer respectfully and carefully. To comfort yourself, excuse yourself. Consider taking a shower, going for a vigorous stroll outside, or watching a pointless YouTube video. (Avoid obsessing about the conflict or making counterattack plans while you are taking a break. This will undoubtedly worsen the situation!)
- Go back to the predicament. Your spouse will assume that you were avoiding them if you don’t return, and they might feel disrespectful, wounded, or furious as a result. You will be able to participate fully and productively if you return when you have had a chance to catch your breath. The ideal length of time to self-soothe and then reengage is often twenty minutes. The break will be shorter the earlier you catch it.
Keep in mind that stonewalling only damages a relationship when it is disregarded. As an alternative, you and your partner can collaborate to better understand your pattern and try to adjust the way you both take care of one another when you are at odds.
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