Media personality and life coach Solomon Buchi has offered advice against the common practice of lengthy dating periods with the sole intention of thoroughly understanding a partner before marriage.
Speaking on the X platform, Solomon Buchi emphasized that despite spending extensive time together, a person’s partner may undergo changes after marriage, and the dynamics of the relationship can shift significantly.
While acknowledging the rationale behind wanting to invest years in getting to know someone, Solomon Buchi cautioned that marriage inherently requires a degree of faith. He stressed that relying solely on an extended dating period to comprehend a partner might not necessarily guarantee a seamless transition into marriage.
Buchi argued that there is a limit to how well one can truly understand their partner before marriage, and the institution itself has a transformative effect on individuals. According to him, the revelation of one’s true self often occurs within the context of marriage.
In a society where prolonged courtships are commonplace, Solomon Buchi’s perspective adds a thought-provoking angle to the discourse on relationships and marriage. As individuals navigate the complexities of modern relationships, his advice urges a balance between understanding and embracing the uncertainties that come with committing to a lifelong partnership.
In his words: “You can never know your partner too well before marriage. No matter how long you date, marriage will shock you. You’ll see sides to them that you never saw in your 10 years of dating. I understand trying to spend long years to know someone before marriage, but getting married requires a level of FAITH. It requires a little bit of uncertainty; after all, is life itself not uncertain? Even in marriage, your partner evolves per stage. Who they were before childbirth is different from who they’ll be after childbirth. Stop dating for too long because you want to know the person well; marriage will teach you how much you don’t know them, and why you should patiently study them. Please, just marry and face the dynamic reality of marriage. It’s a consistent learning curve.”
